He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize