She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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