Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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