I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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