think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
