...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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