my vag is so smooth its legendary
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
