it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
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I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
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