So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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