I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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