the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
