Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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