No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize