Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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