im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We had sex on a dog bed..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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