he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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