I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
we're so committed to being not committed
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
