What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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