How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
