where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
