i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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