i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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