Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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