The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was confusing and full of hummus
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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