Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there's paper in my vomit.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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