the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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