seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
