at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
