So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
