I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
