I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
