Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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