Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
