So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
