So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize