Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
