Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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