everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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