Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i came on her dog
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
