Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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