i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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