Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
