It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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