It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
