I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize