I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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