Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
