His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
