So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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