They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
