who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
