you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So much Jack, so little girl.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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