I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
