Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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